So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
