this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
