I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
