if you like me you must not know who I am
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
