i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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