Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
