I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
she smelled like a LAN party
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
