paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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