You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
My cat gives me a boner
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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