You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
