can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
