I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
