She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
