i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
