i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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