he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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