We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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