nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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