Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Randomize