I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
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