I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
