I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
pray to the hookup gods
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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