i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize