Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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