the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
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