just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
