My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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