Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize