you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
