go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
