There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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