Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
