I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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