ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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