I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
