You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
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