i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize