I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Randomize
