operation harelip BJ is a go
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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