Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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