About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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