I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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