Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
