I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
We got so high we made milksteak
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
