Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
