you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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