Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
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