brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
