hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
