Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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