Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
