Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
