You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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