I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize