I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
