Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
