Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize