I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
