everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
