My liver just broke up with me...
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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