what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize
