omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize