...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
