my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Randomize
