When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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