If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
