If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
