Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
