I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
