can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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