So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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