I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
the room spins SO much faster in panama
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
